5 Houseplants Even Serial Plant Killers Can’t Destroy

Are you the type who brings home a hopeful little succulent, only to watch it wither away on your windowsill like it’s auditioning for a plant tragedy? Fear not, fellow flora assassins! We’ve got the inside scoop on five houseplants that can survive your best (worst?) efforts to do them in.

1. African Spear Plant: The Drama Queen This succulent is like that friend who complains about everything but somehow always pulls through. It’s picky about its soil but can go weeks without water. Just don’t let it get a sunburn, or you’ll never hear the end of it!
2. ZZ Plant: The Lazy Roommate This plant is so chill, it practically waters itself. It’s not fussy about light and only needs a drink every now and then. Perfect for those of us who forget we even own plants!
3. Baby Rubber Plant: The Office Survivor Also known as “pepper face” (cute, right?), this little trooper can handle your neglectful desktop gardening skills like a champ. It’s the plant equivalent of that coworker who somehow thrives on nothing but coffee and fluorescent lighting.
4. Golden Pothos: The Forgiving Friend This plant is like that pal who’s always there for you, even when you forget their birthday. It can handle low light, infrequent watering, and still look fabulous. Just give its leaves a spa day with a gentle wipe-down occasionally.
5. Chinese Evergreen: The Tropical Vacationer This plant dreams of humid, warm places but will settle for your less-than-ideal living room. It’s pretty chill about watering schedules, making it perfect for those of us who can’t remember if we watered it yesterday or last month.

Remember, even these hardy heroes aren’t immortal. But with a little love (and not too much water), they’ll stick around long enough for you to finally earn that coveted title of “Plant Parent.” Who knows? You might even graduate to #PlantTok status someday!

So go forth, reformed plant killers, and green up those thumbs! Just remember: when in doubt, put down the watering can and step away slowly. Your new leafy friends will thank you for it!

This blog post is based on the article “5 Houseplants You (Probably) Can’t Kill” from Real Simple magazine.